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Blubbering...Blabbering...Sorry... Ah. Sorry about the last entry. A bit depressing maybe? Well, I was depressed. I even found my good ole razor blade that just "happened" to "slip into" my pocket when I "found" it in the art room in a supply box. I found it, I scratched "bi" into my wrist (not enough to bleed mind you, just so I'd get a welt, right above where you feel your pulse) and I put my watch on over it. I don't know why I did it. I was bored. But I didn't cut. I couldn't cut. My mind kept going to Nicole, and I've been telling her that cutting's bad, and it's not the way to make yourself feel better, and that I'd moved on from that...So I ended up putting it back. I know where it is though. I mean, that's thinner than a pocket knife. But yeah. We might go to Minnesota to look at an El Camino this weekend! And then, if that one's not good, we'll drive the eight hours or so back, go to Lake Michigan, and hop on a ferry to go to Michigan to look at another one! We can drive both cars back, cause they run and don't need parts, so my mom and I would go in my car and my brother and dad would go in my dad's car. (My car being the one we'd buy) The only thing I dislike about them is that they're brown and tan. But that's alright, at least it's an El Camino, and at least paint color is easy enough to change. The one in Minnesota was painted once, but not because of rust. Air got under the paint and chipped the paint away. Supposedly that one only has a little spot of rust on one door (easy enough to take care of, especially if I decide to paint the truck another color, which would mean I could change the door and then paint it) and the one in Michigan has rust on the fenders. So that's not that easy to take care of. Cause I can't replace all the quarter panels. No. That wouldn't work. I have to get a job. I might call the trout farm here and find out if they're hiring. I think that'd be a good place for me to work. They're only open until like 6 pm anyways, so I'd be home for dinner, and Sundays they're only open till 4. So I'd have plenty of time to work on the El Camino I'll hopefully have soon, and I'll have plenty of time to hang out with friends. Cool, huh? And then, if I get a job, I can get an El Camino insured, so I can drive it once I get my temps. Awesome, right? Cause my dad said I can't drive it unless it gets insured first. (All speaking of course on whether or not I actually get the El Camino) So anyways, I should see what time they open today and call and then if nothing else get my mom to give me a ride down there and get an application. There's two kids in my brother's grade that work there, but I can handle that. If they're hiring of course. I'm hoping to get my bedroom door back soon. I started cleaning my room yesterday, because I couldn't study for my History exam. I left my book at school for Britt to use, so I could sleep in today. I cleaned my room instead. Well, I got rid of one little stand I had, and now my nightstand looks like a jungle (sorta) but it has 2 wizards and dragons and a crystal wine glass full of jewelry. Strange. My dad and I were supposed to go fishing on Saturday, but cars parked in a TRUCK AND TRAILER PARKING ONLY parking lot, so we had nowhere to park. We decided to go to a shittier lake instead, but my mom called and said my brother cancelled their dinner plans and she didn't want to eat alone, so we came home with subs and ate with here, then decided to watch "Fast Times in Ridgemont High" (good movie) with her and stay home. We were going to go yesterday, but it was storming and there were tornado warnings and shit. So we didn't get to go. I'm trying to think of songs to make a CD with...I want to burn a mix for my exams. Some of the teachers (such as the one I have today) let us listen to headphones quietly when we finish with our exams. So I will. But damn, I wish I had some weed...I'd do better on the exam. I know I would. I should go in my brother's room and see if he has any. I won't use much....He'd never notice... So anyways, I don't know what else to say....Oh my mom is homophobic. Just thought y'all should know. And I had a wierdass dream...can't remember it all though...I know somebody told me I was sexy (ha) and we hugged and kissed, and then someone else came up and I started walking around with them, and then something with my friends...I know I kissed Nicole in the dream, and I kept hugging Britt...I don't know, it was fucked up. Well I have to go paint my toenails...I'm not wearing shoes to exams, I'm gonna throw on my Pantera shirt and a pair of old black jeans with the bottoms all ripped up, and I'm wearing sandals. My toenails are gonna be black. Hehehe.. ^^ \m/ |