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A Million Shards Of Glass That Pierce a Heart of Stone Fuck the good mood in the last two entries. I bet my brother would really be happy if I did just kill myself. Problem solved, right? I mean, he could have his room upstairs again, my parents would be able to spend more money on him (once the funeral is paid for, of course), he would get more attention, and be the overall good kid in the house. No more problems. So there we go, problem solved. I bet everyone would be a little happier in the end, huh? I know I would. After all, I'd never have to cry myself to sleep anymore. I'd never have to look at the razor in my hand, too fucking weak to do anything about it. I'd never have to hide cuts...Never have to worry about anything.ever.again. Sure, maybe it's the weak way out in some people's mind, but if it makes people happy in the end then I suppose it's worth being weak, right? I can't take this shit anymore. All it does is build up and up and up, and it's like someome shook a fucking soda can and squeezed it. At this point, the only thing I have to live for is the El Camino, right? I mean, no one cares about me as it is. If I had my license and some money, I'd just get in my truck, and drive away from this all. Just get the hell out of here, and start my own life, away from all of this. Just forget about all the times the boys used to grope my in school, or how my brother would just dig at me for fifteen years...How my parents did nothing about it...How I can't trust people here, how every night I fall asleep in a puddle of my own tears, how my fucking dog doesn't even care if I cry anymore, how I'm so fucking alone and unloved in this world, and how NO ONE EVER GIVES A SHIT. For the people that say everyone has a guardian angel...Mine's killed herself already. There's no hope afterall. Because, either way, I'm going to go after being hung up on, ridiculed, and crying to the point of shaking horribly and choking on my own breath as I feel like my heart is shattering into a million pieces. Isn't this where my knight in shining armor is supposed to happen by and show me that life is really worth it? Isn't this where someone's supposed to prove that they care about me? |